Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Rejected Yankee Candle Fragrances


An ongoing list of possible choices:

French Onion Soup-- onions, garlic, with a hint of beefy goodness

Easter Egg-- vinegar and sulphur in a pink decorative container

'79 Camaro-- ass, grass, and cash. Nobody rides for free.

Wet Dog-- soap and fur

High School Hallway- Axe, ass, chalk dust

Barbecue

Sour Cream and Onion

Xtreme Nacho Cheese
The Manda Goes to Harvard- Part Two

One of my favorite pleasures-- there's very little guilt in my life-- is reading the missed connections section on Craigslist. It feeds my overdeveloped sense of schadenfreude.

To the woman sitting at the table next to mine at Pinocchio's pizza in Harvard Square. You were talking to a friend about how this fall was a really difficult time for you personally and emotionally. I felt bad for you, assuming that you'd faced a hefty loss of some kind. A breakup. Death of a loved one. Job loss.

And then you said this: "Well, I didn't get to vote in the election. I moved here and started the new job on November 3. And New York lost my absentee ballot. So I didn't get to vote in the election and that was really hard for me."

It took every ounce of self control I had not to leap across two tables and attempt to wrap my hands around your neck.

I didn't get to vote in the election either. I spent election day sitting in a waiting room in a hospital 900 miles away from my precinct praying for a miracle that didn't happen. THAT is a difficult time personally and emotionally. THAT is existential crisis and soul-crushing grief.

And honey, it's not like New York or Massachusetts are swing states anyway.