January: If you buy an ergonomic shovel, you will effectively end substantial snowfall in New England for the year.
February: Sole dominion over the remote control is not overrated.
March: "Not everyone likes your dog (or whatever else) as much as you do."
April: There's no part of a lamb that isn't delicious if it has been roasted on a spit in your friends' front yard.
May: Trust your instincts. They're smarter than you.
June: It's criminal that the only way I can access a Wawa is to also brave the Jersey Turnpike. Still, this may be a fair trade.
July: Never pay more for a wine tasting than you would pay for a bottle you know to be good already.
August: Some loves really are eternal.
September: Big Pharma makes great pills to treat Crazy. They have yet to find an effective treatment for Asshole.
October: Orange and black is the new red.
November: Sometimes it makes more sense to choose whiskey... and Lady Gaga.
December: Cynicism is easy. Optimism is tough-- and sometimes a pain in the ass. But don't stop believing. Really. Don't.
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