And Suddenly, Travel is Fun Again

Flying home for Thanksgiving on Wednesday, along with the rest of the U.S. population. I'm reading a lot of reports in the news about new TSA regulations, full body scans, people getting groped.

So at least there's the possibility of some action this week. There's the silver lining.

The Suz is challenging pretty much everyone she knows to moan and scream while they're getting frisked. Then thank and tip the friskers.

The Kiwi suggests I wear a red thong and the panda hat. Obviously this would be an error. It should be an orange thong, clearly, because that's the color of Giants Nation.

A dude from high school is thinking of marketing underwear equipped with mousetraps to deter more aggressive searching.

I might not mind if it made me feel any safer, but it doesn't. I still remember the time I made it to Raleigh-Durham with a can of mace in my handbag. I didn't do it on purpose; I just forgot it was there.

And I'm pretty sure I could hurt someone with a knitting needle if I needed to do so. And I remember that scene from "Grosse Point Blank" where John Cusack killed a dude with a ballpoint pen. Seems like just about anything could become a weapon with a little ingenuity.

Not that I'm encouraging that. It just seems like everything about national security is completely reactive. A dude puts explosives in his underpants, so now we all have to be subjected to public fondling. Seems to me the only thing that comes of that is that the dudes with explosives will figure out another place to put them.

But the more important question is this: if TSA doesn't grope me on Wednesday, should I be personally offended?