Putting the Bizarre back in the Bazaar

Maybe I should be happy that the holiday season makes people more friendly and polite to strangers. Living in New England, of course, I'm grading friendliness on a sliding scale-- around here the holidays mean that maybe other drivers will just give you the finger and not try to run you off the road, that people in public will might shove you out of the way a little more gently, that retail workers might scowl a little less deeply.

But, People of Boston-- specifically the woman in front of K-Rock and me at the Bazaar Bizarre on Sunday-- the holiday season does not mean you get to insert yourself into the conversations other people are having near you.

You don't get to giggle when the two women in line behind you are talking about people you don't know.

You don't get to advise us on where to have lunch because you overheard us talking about eating soon.

You don't get to tell us about some TV show that wasn't as good in the second season because we were talking about how the new season of Burn Notice isn't doing it for us.

When one of us observes the cute little French bulldogs walking down the other side of the street, you don't get to use that observation to try to insert yourself into the conversation of the people in front of you.

You don't get to interrupt our conversation to comment, loudly and apropos of nothing, that you like my tote bag.

You don't get to stare at us more aggressively than the last guy who tried to pick me up in a bar.

It's taken me decades to develop the skills necessary to initiate conversations with strangers. Sometimes it works out well. Sometimes not so much. But the appropriate way to engage someone else in conversation is to open with, "Excuse me, I couldn't help but overhear..." This way it's not quite so creepily obvious that you are listening to our every word-- or at least it indicates a level of contrition about it.

If they're interested in including you in the conversation, they will likely respond with a question or some other remark to engage you. If they say something like, "yeah," and then turn back to one another, then the game is over. You then turn around and try to at least seem like you're not listening in. You do not continue to stare at them. This makes you seem like a stalker.

Then you engage in whatever those people are talking about. You don't try to turn the subject around. You listen politely and comment when appropriate. If the conversation fizzles, then see above-- turn around and go back to your own business.

I know it's the holidays. I know crafty-type people tend to be more open to conversation than a lot of other subsets of the population. We like to talk about making stuff and the stuff other people have made. But it's a craft fair. It's not Woodstock. Don't make the people behind you in line resort to sending mean texts about you, literally behind your back.