Our Motto: Snowpocalypse Now

I always figured the zombies would be the thing to take me out. You can't make a movie or TV series about snow. Or can you?

Exterior, day: Small blue house on a typical suburban street; only 1/2of the facade is visible, the rest obscured by drifts of snow. In front of the house, a woman wearing an orange sweatshirt and a panda hat screams and waves a shovel before charging toward the snowbank left at the end of the sidewalk by a plow in the night.

Cut to interior: Another house on another suburban street. Another woman clutches a can of domestic light beer in one fist and shakes her fist toward the TV, threatening to punch the local weatherman in the balls.

Cut to interior: Another house on yet another suburban street. A woman sits by the phone, willing it to ring. In the background a TV announces closings. The woman rolls around on the floor whining, "Please, please, please, say Northeastern University."

Cut back to exterior of blue house: The woman collapses halfway through shoveling the snowbank, muttering in her delirium that she must get married or buy a snowblower. She goes into the house and emerges with some containers of yogurt and an old cellphone, using them to fashion an explosive device which she places in the snow bank. She races into the house, slams the door, just as the snow bank explodes. Cue opening theme: