The Manda's Navel Becomes a Cosmic Vortex

According to the packet of pre-op information that I received two days after surgery (I'm not going to blame the hospital for this; I'm not great at checking my mail consistently) I was supposed to take off the bandages about six days ago.

Oops.

In my defense, they're really scary looking. They're basically just pieces of gauze, but the scary part is the clear plastic covering they put over the gauze. This is hardcore adhesive. It's survived a week of showering with nary a curl at the edges. Ripping off something like that is going to hurt, and I don't like pain as a general rule.

I've got one of the bandages on my navel. Or I had one, because I peeled it off this afternoon just to see how much it would hurt.

How much did it hurt? Less than getting pretty much any part waxed, so I've got that going for me.

Except now it appears my navel reaches all the way to my spine. That can't be right.

Maybe I can get a job in a freak show when I go to Vegas next week.