Warning: Today's fun and games are not for anyone who doesn't understand the global ramifications of the JesusBurrito paradigm within an overly quotable Simpsonian matrix. For everyone else-- both of you-- enjoy.

Coming in Summer 2004 (or whenever I can get a better summer job than the one I have now): More Than The Sum: The Motion Picture

It's an action/adventure/romantic comedy/science fiction/fantasy/mystery/farce.

Exterior: Shotz Brewery
A dark haired woman in a suit walks out of the front doors of the building. As she lights a cigarette, the building bursts into flames. She saunters to the getaway car, and they speed away. In the background we see the Shotz Brewery still standing, indicating that the flames sequence was all in the woman's head. Cue music-- She's So Cold by the Rolling Stones-- and roll opening credits.

We're hoping to cast Brad Pitt as "Joe" though Jennifer will undoubtedly be angry with us for making him grow back the Grizzly Adams beard. And George Clooney would be great as Raving Lunatic #6. We're also in negotiations to get the Verizon Spokesferret or the Geico Gecko to play Office Worker/ Ex-Not Boyfriend #3. James Earl Jones will reprise his role as The Voice of the Magic Taco, and I'll have a small but meaningful cameo as That Dog With The Shifty Eyes.