Maybe Life Would Be Easier If I Was Born Stupid

I took a look at the wedding website for a friend of a friend (whom, once again, I will not NayName). Obviously weddings get their own websites. It doesn't count unless it's been posted, status updated, tweeted, and blogged about. (Yes, savor the irony. Savor it! Tastes a lot like Waffle House hashbrowns, but with more vitamins.)

But today isn't about that. Today is about someone I've never met nor hope to meet sharing details of her honeymoon plans. Care to guess?

Not Cabo.
Not Venice.
Not Hawaii.
Not Myrtle Beach.

The happy couple whom I don't know will be honeymooning in the German Alps. Sounds okay, right? Sweeping vistas. Good beer. Leiderhosen, if you're into that kind of thing. Schnitzel... which is both fun to eat and fun to say.

And, the honeymoon page points out, "nearby attractions include [some trees, a Biergarden, some other kind of nonsense I wasn't paying attention to because of this next part] the former concentration camp at Dachau."

Attraction? No, dear bride I'll never meet. An attraction has a snack bar where they cover fried things in stadium cheese, perhaps a carousel, and maybe people wearing costumes with oversized cartoon heads. Dachau's remains are a memorial to millions of people who died as part of a campaign of supreme evil and will have none of those things, unless Art Speigelman has entered into the most tasteless licensing agreement ever conceived by humans... which is unlikely.

This is a location to visit for historical understanding and reflection on man's inhumanity to man. It's not a location for honeymoon hijinks. It's not even a location to be near for honeymoon hijinks. Unless you weren't planning on having sex with your husband again... ever.

Stick with the Biergarden. I hear it's very nice.